Halloween: The Gayest Holiday of them All

If my neighborhood (known as "Boystown" here in Chicago) is any reliable gauge, Halloween is probably the most beloved holiday of the year among gay men. From the obvious reasons (men can wear makeup, wigs, and dresses in public without scandal) to the symbolic/dramatic reasons (said in best soap opera dialogue tone: "after tomorrow, all these people will take off their masks, but I will be forced to wear the mask that hides who I truly am yet another day") to the shallow reasons (said in Beavis/Butthead voice: "Heh-heh. He said trick or treat. Heh-heh"), Halloween simply grabs hold of our inner fairy and gives us a day in which we can express it as flamboyantly as we desire.

One of my favorite events of the year happens tonight, and that is Chicago's annual Halloween parade. Although the parade is a public event not limited to the gay community, the fact that it takes place on the Halsted strip in front of the gay bars and bathhouse obviously contributes to a certain tone among many of the entries. The parade starts with the families and children, who are then quickly rushed off to bed before they can be exposed to the guy in the giant 12-foot walking penis costume. It is always fun to see the creativity of some of the folks who attend, from the humorous to the political to the crass and repulsive.

So, as a public service to any of you who may be looking for last-minute ideas for your Halloween costume, today I will offer several suggestions for you (with shameless silly humor that fits my jovial mood as I am finally beginning to feel healthy after several days of sickness).

Last-minute Halloween Costume Guide

You could go with an easy traditional costume, such as....

Doctor (drop your pants, please)


...or beach bum (let me wax up and I'll give you a ride)


...or sports jock (wanna play ball?)


...or aristocratic gentleman (oops, dropped one of my gold coins, excuse me as I bend over and pick it up)



Or, perhaps more creative, like....

A young artist (will you help me wash this off?)


...a sports referee (that's 30 minutes in my personal private penalty box, mister)


...a politically-incorrect team mascot (and so was the stuff we did after the game)


...a bad angel (Halo? nope, but I have a cock ring)


...Superman (I'll show you the super powers they didn't mention in the comic books)


....lifeguard (yes, extensive CPR will be required)


....cowboy (this one's way too easy)


...soldier (are you standing at attention or are you just happy to see me?)


...policeman (you like my handcuffs? I have 3 more sets.)


...or Santa Claus (I only have gifts for the naughty boys!)


Have a fun & safe Halloween!

-Michael

Just Like Clockwork

I should have seen it coming. All the signs were evident if I had been paying attention.

It's October. Bad things happen to me in October.

Due to unresolvable computer problems, I had to do a complete reformatting/reinstall of my computer this week, resulting in what would be a minimum of 2 days of little real work being accomplished.

The owner of my company called at the start of the week and said he would be in town later in the week and wanted to meet with me (I see him maybe once or twice a year, so these meetings are significant, plus, hey, he's the owner! Not someone to get on his bad side).

Several things happened this week in my job that generally happen maybe a couple times a year, but this week several happened all at once.

So, if I had been paying attention, I would have known that I would wake up in the middle of the week feeling like I had been hit by a truck. Yes, the annual Chicago flu bug has arrived, and I once again volunteered to be part of the official welcoming committee.

Today is about the first time I could even sit up in bed for any length of time, though I still feel like crap. But, thanks to wireless internet, I can bring my laptop here into my bedroom and still let you all enjoy pictures of hot guys.



I hope you will forgive the fact that, since I am operating on limited mental energy, there is absolutely no attempt with today's pictures to follow any theme or topic. Don't worry, though, I am sure I will be back to my typically witty and erudite self soon. Meantime, here's some guys who are hotties, regardless of the randomness.

Thanks in advance for all the kind expressions of sympathy and offers of sexual favors that I am certain many of you will give when you read this post ;-).

Yummy....

Call me Ed Gruberman

Ok, so I amuse myself sometimes. Some of you noticed that, in my last post, I issued a challenge to see who could identify the two comedy sketch references in the post, offering an exciting reward to the first 5 who could do it. Well, apparently I am either too vague or I just have a sense of humor that is not in line with many people (probably the latter, since the references were pretty obvious if you had heard of the comedy sketches), because not a single person guessed them, and I received several e-mails from people completely confused. Also, I probably failed to consider that, with the international readership of this blog, people in many parts of the world would be even less familiar with the sketches.



But it's all good. At least now I have the opportunity to introduce you to a couple great comedy sketches.

• The first reference was in the title of the post "Reboot to the Head." This is a reference to a 1987 sketch by the Canadian comedy team The Frantics. The sketch is called "Ti Kwan Leap" and appears on their album called Boot to the Head. According to Wikipedia, "Ti Kwan Leep is one of the most famous skits from this album, followed by the title song Boot to the Head....In the skit, there is a conversation between Ed Gruberman and a martial arts master over the relative merits of harmonious Eastern philosophy versus 'trashing bozos'. This soon devolves into an all-out brawl. The song recites a long litany of people doing idiotic things, and recommending that we 'Give them a boot to the head!'" Very funny sketch.
  

• The second reference was when I said that, if I was unable to post for the next several days, you should "grab a towel and don't panic." This one should be more familiar to some, as it incorporates two of the most common themes from the 1978 BBC radio comedy series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. This is very possibly the best radio comedy series of all time (yes, I know it's my opinion, which means it's likely a bit skewed...lol). If you are not familiar with the radio series, it is very entertaining and worth hunting down to listen to. It was also made into a movie in 2005 (well done, but I still enjoy the radio version better). In the story, the Guide is a repository of all the useful information in the universe. Two of the major themes of the story include the words "Don't Panic" written in large, friendly letters on the cover of the Guide and the importance of always knowing "where your towel is" (Click here for an explanation of this joke's origin). Well, although I could easily come up with 42 other reasons why this is one of my favorite radio series of all time, I will just let you hunt it down yourself and enjoy the experience (believe me, it sure beats Vogon poetry!).

Yes, I do entertain myself.



And, since I have absolutely nothing with which to transition to the pictures, I will just hop right in here. I tend to be a "face" person. If a guy has expressive eyes and a beautiful smile, most everything else is just window dressing to me. I have dated guys of all shapes and sizes, just so long as I enjoyed what was above the neck. But, if I were to say what my one (very minor) fetish would be, it is nipples. I think I enjoy sucking on a guy's nipples almost as much as sucking on his....er, I like nipples a lot. So, to feed my fetish today, here's some nice nipply pictures! Enjoy!