A Day to Be Grateful

Today in the United States, we honor the memory of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., whose courage to stand and speak out, even at the cost of his own life, set fire to a movement that continues to burn to this day.

As a white American of western European heritage, I am grateful for Dr. King's legacy, because without it, considering my family's Southern, narrow-minded roots, I would no doubt be a person who viewed those of different ethnic backgrounds with disdain and condescension, and I would have missed out on the innumerable ways my life has been blessed and enriched and completed by those from different cultures whom I have been humbled to call "friend" or "lover."

Apart from Dr. King's legacy, had I been sexually attracted to men of different races, I certainly would have viewed them as objects to bring me pleasure, rather than as companions with whom I could be open, vulnerable, and intimate.



It was not that long ago that such thinking was the norm. My grandparents believed interracial romance was wrong; even my parents felt it was a "lesser" choice (though they have admirably learned and grown in that regard). Without the societal changes that challenged that thinking, I would never have shared the wonderful memories of my first serious relationship, with a great African-American guy who remains a good friend to this day. Nor would I have met and grown close to my second boyfriend, a Filipino guy who I count among those who are dearest to me in my life and whose friendship now is more solid and deep than I was ever capable of sharing during our brief romance. And I certainly would not have fallen head over heels in love with Alfred, whose exuberance and passion and generosity continue to inspire me though he has been gone for so long.



So today, in gratitude, I say "thank you" to Dr. King and all those who, like him, have contributed to the foundational shifts in American society, where we are moving toward the day (and yes, there is still much progress to be made) when all of society recognizes that love has always been color-blind and that two people, regardless of differences (or similarities) in race, gender, and background, can come together and create a relationship that is a thing of beauty far surpassing what either could do alone.



And, in celebration of these things, today begins a week of posts here at OYGA illustrating the beauty of diversity among gay men today. Enjoy!